Home > Guide > Questions to Ask the Other Family in a Nanny Share

Questions to Ask the Other Family in a Nanny Share

Getting your nanny share in place is a two-step process. You need the fabulous nanny, and you need the compatible family.

Before you pick any family with a few shared interests, you should make sure that together you’re a good management team.

You’ll want someone you respect, find trustworthy, and with whom you can create a great co-existence. After all, you will be managing an employee, and raising your children together.

Here are some great questions and discussion topics to ask a potential nanny share family.

  • Use these to generate your own questions to really get a feel for the other family’s personality, house set-up, communication style, and parenting style.

Overall Logistics:

  • Where do you live?

  • How old are your kids?

  • What hours do you work?

  • Are you hoping to host the nanny share at your house, share it, or would you feel comfortable with it outside of your home entirely?

  • What hourly rate are you looking to pay?

  • Have you had a nanny before?

  • What type of characteristics are you looking for in a nanny?

  • For how long are you hoping to have a nanny share? Would you plan to continue with the share if you had more children? What if we both had more children?


Personality Feelers:

  • How would you describe yourselves?

  • How would your friends describe you?

  • How would you describe your child(ren)?

  • How would you describe your parenting style?

  • Do you have any reservations about getting a nanny?

  • What do you like to do for fun?

  • What have been some pet peeves you’ve had with a previous nanny, sitter, dog walker or housekeeper? How have you handled these situations?

  • How do you like to communicate directions, updates and concerns (text, email, face-to-face)?

  • Say our nanny has left the kitchen a mess repeatedly and left some stinky diapers in the garbage, how would you handle this with them?

  • If my child were to bite/hit your child, how would you want me to handle it?

  • Say you have an issue with the nanny we hire and you’re very upset about it. How would you like me to support you?

  • If our nanny is late on a regular basis, how would you want to handle it?

  • What are issues you would fire a nanny for?

House & Management Questions:

  • How would you want to handle the cost of food and activities?

  • What type of rules do you feel you’d want to put in place for the nanny we hire?

  • How do you want to handle a sick child?

  • Daycare rules, or treat kids as if they’ve all been exposed anyway?

  • How do you want to handle a sick nanny?

  • How sick is too sick for her to work?


(If using their house is an option):

  • Does your house have two separate quiet places for the children to nap, and storage for extra gear?

  • Has your home been baby-proofed?


Family Philosophies:

  • What is your discipline style (or what do you plan for it to be?)
  • How would you want the nanny to discipline our kids?

  • What are your technology policies? Is TV okay for your child(ren)?

  • Is everyone vaccinated?

  • What are your rules about treats, snacks, and eating on-the-go?

  • What are your guidelines on napping on-the-go?

  • How would you want kid-disputes (over sharing, pushing, etc.) handled?

  • Do certain political beliefs offend you in any way?