How to Find a Family for a Nanny Share

How to Find a Family for a Nanny Share

You want to save money on a nanny share, but you also need to make sure you choose the right family for your partnership. Here’s a list of things to think about and questions to ask yourself, and them before partnering with a family


So you’ve decided you want to do a nanny share. Great! First things first, you need another family with whom you’ll share the nanny. Or you might have a family in mind, but do you really match up when it comes to raising kids and managing an employee together?

Here are all the things you want to consider when shopping for a nanny share family because it’s about more than just your location and work schedule. It’s about chemistry, parenting style, and how people care for a household employee.


Nanny Share Logistics

  • Do you live near each other?
  • Are your children’s ages compatible? Most people think they need the kids in a nanny share to be the same age, but it can also be successful to have older kids with an infant.
  • Does one of you have a house or apartment that’s ideal for pickup and drop-off, and hosting two or more children every day?
  • Can you agree on the house in which the share will be held? Or would this be split?
  • Does the house have two separate quiet places for the children to nap and storage for extra gear?
  • Do you work similar hours? (Ideally, the family who works later hours will host the nanny-share)
  • Are you comfortable with the family and feel you can handle conflict well together?
  • Can you agree on an hourly rate? Is the family comfortable splitting expenses like food, activities, and any gear that may have to be purchased for your nanny?
  • Do you agree on the method used to pay your nanny? There are payroll services to help with the complexity of this one
  • Are you comfortable on what to do if one of you needs to end your commitment to the nanny share?
  • Can you agree on signing a family-contract as well as a nanny contract?

Nanny Lane recommends both families paying about two-thirds of the hourly rate. This way, the nanny feels the financial benefit of a nanny share as well as the families. This will provide a more competitive salary for the nanny, especially given the increased complexity of providing care, in a nanny share. It’s recommended that families pay a nanny while they’re on vacation, and providing your nanny with at least two weeks of her own vacation time as well. This means you might need to coordinate your personal vacation time with your nanny share family.


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Parent Personalities

  • Do you enjoy the parents? (See if you have any mutual friends who can provide any insight, and check out their social media presence)
  • Does anyone seem like a micromanager who might get in the way of your parenting style or your nanny’s independence with the children?
  • Is their communication pleasant, respectful, and enjoyable?

Family Philosophies

  • Do you like each other’s kids?
  • Do you like the way they parent?
  • What is the family’s discipline style?
  • What are their rules for technology?
  • Is everyone vaccinated?
  • What are their rules about treats, snacks, and eating on-the-go?
  • What are their guidelines on napping on-the-go?
  • How do they handle kid disputes over sharing, pushing, etc.?
  • How do you both want to handle a sick child? Is a runny nose okay?
  • How do you want to handle a sick nanny? How sick is too sick for them to work?
  • Do you have similar political beliefs (a hot-button issue in some areas)? Or is it something that would lead to future conflicts?

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Additional Questions to Ask Each Other

  • If my child becomes rude and/or aggressive (hitting, biting) towards your child, how would you want me to handle it?
  • Say you have an issue with the nanny and you’re very upset about it. How would you like me to support you?
  • If our nanny is late on a regular basis, how would you want to handle it?
  • What do you consider a fireable offense for a nanny?

A nanny share is a great way to save money on a nanny, but you must make sure the other family is a good personality and parenting fit first.

You should ensure that you like how the other family handles situations. While it might not be the same way you’d handle it, you should consider this when making your decisions, and ultimately respect their decisions and style.

If a family isn’t a good fit, the nanny share will not be successful long-term, so it’s better to take your time finding a family. If you’d rather use the power of technology to find a nanny share match for your family, use the questionnaire at Nanny Lane, where you can get matched with both families and nannies!