Nanny Share Rules to Keep Both Families Informed

Two children playing with blocks on the floor

How to keep two families on the same page when managing one nanny

The key to a successful nanny share is to make sure you’re on the same page -- about everything from payment to group texts to social media.

Here are some categories you’ll want to go over, and consider including in your nanny share contract.

Job Description

  • What are your expectations of the nanny?
  • What type of house work will you want the nanny to do (tidying, laundry, etc.)?

Payment and Extras

  • What is the hourly rate?
  • How much should the nanny expect to take home weekly (even if one of you doesn’t need them for a day)?
  • Will you be paying through a nanny tax service?
  • How will you be covering overtime?
  • How will you be determining the holiday bonus?
  • Does the nanny get a weekly spending allowance for snacks and activities?


  • What is the overall schedule?
  • How do you want to handle one family needing to work late/go in early?
  • How do you want to organize and keep track of the nanny’s schedule?
  • How many paid vacation days and sick days will you be providing?
  • Can you work together to plan the same weeks off?
  • Are both families comfortable paying the nanny wages while they’re on vacation?
  • What holidays do you need coverage for vs. what you both have off?

Sick Policy

  • Do you want to use daycare rules in which a sick child should not be dropped off?
  • Or, are you comfortable living under the assumption that both children have been exposed to the same virus?
  • Is your nanny comfortable taking care of sick kids?
  • How sick is too sick for your nanny to work?
  • If your nanny takes a sick day, how will both families cover it?


  • How do you want to check in with each other?
  • How often?
  • How would you like to manage difficult situations, whether it’s frustrations with each other or the nanny?
  • When communicating with the nanny will there be one point person?
  • Weekly/bi-weekly meetings?
  • Group text?

Food and Supplies

  • How will you break up the cost of food, gear to make the nanny’s life easier, and supplies like diapers?

Extra-Curricular Activities and Memberships

  • How will you share the cost of activities such as museum memberships?
  • What will you do if one family wants to pay for the nanny and child to take a class, but the other doesn’t?

Educational Resources

  • How would you like your nanny to be teaching the children?
  • In what way, and how many hours a day?

Off-limit Places

  • Are there any places you don’t want her to go?
  • Can she drive distances?


  • How would you like the nanny to discipline bad behavior?
  • What type of behavior deserves a timeout?


  • What are your rules for the children watching TV?
  • What are the rules for your nanny watching TV or texting?
  • Can she post anything about your children on social media?


  • Can your nanny host other nannies and families over at your house?

Pet Peeves

  • Do you have any nanny pet peeves you want her to avoid (i.e. going to the mall, talking on the phone while pushing the stroller)?

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