Questions to Ask the Other Family in a Nanny Share

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Getting your nanny share in place is a two-step process. You need the fabulous nanny, and you need the compatible family.

Before you pick any family with a few shared interests, you should make sure that together you’re a good management team.

You’ll want someone you respect, find trustworthy, and with whom you can create a great co-existence. After all, you will be managing an employee, and raising your children together.

Here are some great questions and discussion topics to ask a potential nanny share family. Use these to generate your own questions to really get a feel for the other family’s personality, house set-up, communication style, and parenting style.

Overall Logistics

  • Where do you live?
  • How old are your kids?
  • What hours do you work?
  • Are you hoping to host the nanny share at your house, share it, or would you feel comfortable with it outside of your home entirely?
  • What hourly rate are you looking to pay?
  • Have you had a nanny before?
  • What type of characteristics are you looking for in a nanny?
  • For how long are you hoping to have a nanny share? Would you plan to continue with the share if you had more children? What if we both had more children?

Personality Feelers

  • How would you describe yourselves?
  • How would your friends describe you?
  • How would you describe your child(ren)?
  • How would you describe your parenting style?
  • Do you have any reservations about getting a nanny?
  • What do you like to do for fun?
  • What have been some pet peeves you’ve had with a previous nanny, sitter, dog walker or housekeeper? How have you handled these situations?
  • How do you like to communicate directions, updates and concerns (text, email, face-to-face)?
  • Say our nanny has left the kitchen a mess repeatedly and left some stinky diapers in the garbage, how would you handle this with them?
  • If my child were to bite/hit your child, how would you want me to handle it?
  • Say you have an issue with the nanny we hire and you’re very upset about it. How would you like me to support you?
  • If our nanny is late on a regular basis, how would you want to handle it?
  • What are issues you would fire a nanny for?

House & Management Questions

  • How would you want to handle the cost of food and activities?
  • What type of rules do you feel you’d want to put in place for the nanny we hire?
  • How do you want to handle a sick child?
  • Daycare rules, or treat kids as if they’ve all been exposed anyway?
  • How do you want to handle a sick nanny?
  • How sick is too sick for her to work?

(If using their house is an option)

  • Does your house have two separate quiet places for the children to nap, and storage for extra gear?
  • Has your home been baby-proofed?

Family Philosophies

  • What is your discipline style (or what do you plan for it to be?)
  • How would you want the nanny to discipline our kids?
  • What are your technology policies? Is TV okay for your child(ren)?
  • Is everyone vaccinated?
  • What are your rules about treats, snacks, and eating on-the-go?
  • What are your guidelines on napping on-the-go?
  • How would you want kid-disputes (over sharing, pushing, etc.) handled?
  • Do certain political beliefs offend you in any way?

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